PREGNANCY & INFANT LOSS | My Journey
On September 10th, 2018, I gave birth to my sleeping baby boy, Hudson Peter.
He was my fourth loss—and while each one was heartbreaking, losing Hudson at almost 19 weeks felt profoundly different to my earlier losses, which occurred in the first trimester around 8–10 weeks.
As October marks Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, I wanted to open up about my journey—because these stories deserve to be heard.
Pregnancy loss is often surrounded by silence, and that silence can feel isolating. But grief needs space. Whether a baby is lost at 5 weeks, 8 weeks, or 40 weeks—it matters. The pain is real. The hopes were real. The love was real.
Grief doesn’t look the same for everyone. Some carry it quietly, others need to talk, cry, or just be. Many of us wonder if we did something wrong. We feel guilt. We imagine the life that would’ve been. And while time helps, healing isn’t linear.
Today, I feel I’m in a good place with my grief. I’m healing, slowly but surely. But I also know that for others, the weight may still feel crushing—and it can be hard to understand if you haven’t walked that path.
So if you know someone who’s gone through this:
Be gentle. Be present. Listen. Let them share, if they want to.
Processing grief is deeply personal, and it takes time. Sometimes a lot of time.
This is my story. Thank you for taking the time to hear it.
And please—be kind to those around you. You never know what silent battles they’re facing.